Synopsis
The story is a parody of the tale of Faust.
Death is interrupted in his beekeeping duties by a voice
and the sound of running feet. In Ankh-Morpork, the wizards are also
disturbed by this, and the new Archchancellor, Ezrolith Churn, summons
a council to get to the bottom of it. None of the wizards know what
it is, and they ignore the Librarian, who does. The wizards summon
Death, using the Rite of AshkEnte, who tells them that it is Rincewind;
and that there is a million-to-one chance, exactly, of his returning
from the Dungeon Dimensions, to the relief of the Bursar, who has
been denying all knowledge of the events of Sourcery.
Rincewind wakes in a strange place, having been summoned
by the 13 year old demonologist, Eric Thursley, who wants the mastery
of all kingdoms, to meet the most beautiful woman who ever existed,
and immortality. He is disappointed when Rincewind tells him he is
unable to deliver any of these things, and embarrassed when Rincewind
sees through his disguise. Left alone, Rincewind is disheartened to
learn that the spells to confine the demon summoned are working on
him; Eric's parrot tells him that because he was summoned as a demon,
he is subject to the same terms. The parrot also reveals that Eric
is spoiled by his parents, who let him use his grandfather's demonology
equipment.
Meanwhile, in the demon's city, Pandemonium, the new
king, Lord Astfgl, is angered when he learns that Eric's summoning
did not bring Duke Vassenego, the demon who had been chosen to bend
Eric to the will of the demons. The demons don't have much imagination,
and need a bright, self-centred human to plot for them.
Back in Eric's attic, Rincewind's hopes of being released
are dashed when The Luggage makes an appearance. Eric's demands are
renewed; when Rincewind protests, he is shocked to find that snapping
his fingers does give a puff of smoke, and more so to find himself,
Eric, luggage and the parrot floating over the Disc. On seeing this,
Eric demands that the kings of the Disc pay tribute to him. Rincewind
snaps his fingers again, and they end up in the rain forests of Klatch.
They find themselves in the Tezumen Empire, where people come forward
to pay tribute to Eric. During this tribute, Rincewind and the parrot
explore the temple of Quezovercoatl, where they find a prisoner, Ponce
da Quirm, who is to be sacrificed.
In the demon city, the king summons Quezovercoatl (who
is a "feathered boa", which is almost the same as the classic
Aztec winged snake). He tells him to return to the Tezuman Empire,
to tell them not to merely sacrifice everyone they happen across,
but to start a bureaucracy. Back in the temple, da Quirm tells Rincewind
about the terrible fate the Tezumen have planned for the Ruler of
the World. Rincewind, Eric and da Quirm find themselves tied up at
the top of a pyramid, waiting to be sacrificed, when Quezovercoatl
makes his appearance. Unfortunately for him, the luggage also makes
an appearance. The Tezumen are pleased to see Quezovercoatl destroyed,
and release the prisoners, and enshrine the luggage in the place of
their god.
After sending the parrot away with da Quirm, who is
searching for the Fountain of Youth, Eric and Rincewind find themselves
in a large wooden horse (a parody of the Trojan Horse). Exiting, they
are surrounded by soldiers, who take them for an Ephebian invasion
force. They are left with a single guard when the rest go to bring
in a second wooden object, which happens to be a box with many legs.
Rincewind convinces the guard to go and get his share of the glory
of battle, trying to convince Eric that he doesn't want to meet Elenor,
and to rather escape from Tsort Eventually, they find the gate, and
inadvertently let in the Ephebian army.
Rincewind and Eric are taken to Lavaeolus, the man who
built the horse, who has to tell them off for spoiling the war. They
enter the centre of Tsort through a secret passage, and find Elenor.
Eric is disappointed to find that it has been a long siege, and Elenor
is now a plump mother of several children, with the beginnings of
a moustache, and that artistic licence had been taken in her description.
After the war, while Tsort burns, Lavaeolus sets out for home, complaining
about voyages by sea. After his departure, Eric tells Rincewind that
Lavaeolus means "Rinser of Winds".
Rincewind snaps his fingers, bringing Eric and him outside
of time. Astfgl notices the disappearance, but chooses to go to the
end of time, where he meets Death, who reveals that Rincewind is a
wizard, not a demon. Back at a beginning of the universe, Rincewind
talks to a man there, a creator, before the creator reads the eight
spells of the Octavo. They are left on the newly formed Discworld,
contemplating that the wish for immortality has left them having to
live for all time, from start to finish. After a while, Rincewind
has a plan. Astfgl arrives to find the remains of a magic circle,
hundreds of footprints, and Rincewind and Eric find themselves in
hell, which is now being run like a hotel. They meet the gate keeper
demon, Urglefloggah, who complains about the changes. Seizing the
opportunity, Rincewind offers to go talk to someone in management,
and he and Eric escape while Urglefloggah is confused. The changes
were brought in by Astfgl, because the condemned souls noticed that
the physical tortures of hell only work if you have a body, but boredom
can still torture the soul. Astfgl had achieved in Hell a particularly
high brand of boredom resembling the boredom which is costing you
money, and is taking place while you should be having a nice time.
While searching for an exit, trying to escape from the
king, Eric and Rincewind meet da Quirm and the parrot, and Lavaeolus,
who tells them where the exit is (It turns out that having found the
Fountain of Youth, Ponce forgot to boil the water and died of dysentry).
Meanwhile, Lord Vassenego is gathering the demons to rise against
Astfgl. He has been using Rincewind to keep the king occupied, providing
the wishes. As Astfgl brings Rincewind and Eric to publicly face his
wrath, Vassenego comes in, telling him the council has made him "Supreme
Life President of Hell", and that he is to plan out the course
of action for demons. With Vassenego as king, the demons release Rincewind
and Eric, so that stories about hell can be told.
